Usually, parents lovingly choose new toys for the child, wondering if he might like it, what will be useful for him, contribute to his development, or just guaranteed to entertain him. And the kid, instead of using the purchase as intended, breaks it apart, tears the dolls and animals out of the head, disassembles everything into parts, unscrews and unscrews. Mom and dad this situation, of course, frustrating. In this article, we will try to figure out why a child breaks toys, whether to worry about it and what to do about it.
Causes of mutilation in relation to toys
There can be quite a few explanations for why toys fall into disgrace to a child. And it is extremely unlikely that this is a sadistic inclination, a thirst for murder, violence, hatred for everything that sometimes appears in the imagination of concerned parents. The most common reasons for a child breaks toys are as follows.
It is extremely clear to adults how the toy is arranged, what is inside it, and how its parts are connected to each other. And even if it is not clear to them, they don’t have a desire to get such information. With children, the situation is somewhat different: they are in the process of active cognition of the surrounding world. They are interested in literally everything, and what will happen if you break off a typewriter wheel – too.
In this context, the fact that a child breaks toys is not at all perceived as a cause for concern. It would be much worse if he sat apathetically surrounded by teddy bears and clockwork trains, showing no interest in anything.
The discrepancy between the toys and the development of the child
On the developing toys for a reason, they write the age to which they are oriented. At each stage of his life, the child must acquire certain knowledge and skills for the development of which he is most adapted during this period. And if the toy is too simple for him or, conversely, too complicated, he simply will not be able to play with it as it should be according to the instructions. And since he still wants to interact with her somehow, he will find the easiest way: to take it apart, break it, find out what’s inside. So he will get at least something from the thing, the purpose of which is incomprehensible or uninteresting to him.
We all know about the four main types of temperament – sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic and choleric. And if the child is tearing the toys apart, choleric, then the reason for this behavior can be only in the peculiarities of his higher nervous activity.
Choleric children are prohibitively active children who find it difficult to concentrate and concentrate, difficult to control their emotions and it is equally difficult to perform precise movements that require well-developed fine motor skills. In other words, a choleric person breaks toys simply because he has not yet learned how to pacify his ardor. He is constantly somewhere in a hurry, his attention is attracted by more and more new things and phenomena, and he simply does not notice how, through carelessness, something breaks. But with the development of the baby may well learn to be more accurate.
Poor quality toys
It is not always necessary to blame the breakdowns of children – often enough, manufacturers produce insufficient quality products for the smallest, who do not withstand the pressure of children’s games. They may well look beautiful and functional in the package, but to be extremely fragile and unreliable in the process of active use, when the kid tests them with all the methods available to him.
Surely you noticed that when you feel bad, things themselves “fall from the hands.” It’s the same thing with children: when they feel bad, they are much more careless and clumsy than usual. And the fact that a child has no fever or rash does not mean that everything works perfectly in his body. In the end, the cause of poor health can be banal indigestion – and then the probability of crippling dolls, animals, robots, and cars will be much higher.
Expression of anger or an attempt to attract attention
This is a whole group of possible reasons why a boy or girl constantly breaks toys, and they are mainly related to the behavior of parents. So, this can be attributed to:
- Lack of attention from mom and dad. If they devote little time to the child, instead of slipping more and more new toys to him, he can try to get at least some kind of reaction to him in this way. And here it is not so important that the reaction is likely to be negative – the baby just needs time to be given.
- Lack of explanation. Many modern toys, especially intricate, developing, are quite difficult to understand. They are accompanied by detailed instructions that the child may not even be able to read, and if they can, they will hardly understand what they have written. Therefore, it is very important that the parents themselves understand how to use the toy, and clearly explain the instructions to their daughter or son. Otherwise, he, trying to figure it out himself, will simply get angry because of the futility of his efforts and decide that it is better to break the hated toy.
- Discontent, annoyance associated with parents. A kid can simply, in principle, be angry with mom and dad for something (for example, because they did not let him eat chocolate at dinner, or did not buy something). And since he knows that it is they who buy the toys for him, to break them means to let go of their anger. Like, let them know how to make children eat vegetables. And although this is, in fact, the transferred aggression against the parents, it is also quite natural. As it develops, the child gradually separates from mom and dad, learns to have an opinion and desires, and resists their will. In young children, this is expressed in fairly simple offenses, in adolescents – in the misunderstandings more complicated. But if they are not, then they simply will not be able to grow up as adults, independent, self-sufficient people. These are their first clumsy attempts to assert themselves and their rights, to defend them.
What if the child constantly breaks toys?
So, in the causes of this situation, there is absolutely nothing criminal. Most likely, you have already chosen one or the other possible case from those listed above. And before turning to the advice of psychologists about solving a problem, let’s talk about what you definitely shouldn’t do. These are: screams, curses, woeful howls, accusations of a child that he does not know the price of money, demands to explain the reason for his behavior, threats and the like. With such a reaction, you will not change anything for the better, and most likely – only aggravate the misunderstanding between you and the baby.
And now let’s move on to the behavior that psychology recommends for children whose children constantly break toys:
- Try to establish the cause of the incident. With a high probability, this is one of the options listed above. There is no special reason to ask a child, because he himself does not know why he did it, or he knows it, but he will not say it because of shame (for example, if it was revenge for an eaten bowl of soup). And you, having analyzed the situation and the events preceding it can quite figure out what’s what.
- Give your child enough attention. If a broken toy is a signal that you are too little in the life of your daughter or son, then it is time to change it. Believe me; the time spent with parents is much more valuable for a baby than a regular purchase. Even if he, capriciously, will argue the opposite. And do not forget in detail, extremely easy to explain to children how to use these or other things. What is obvious to you is a mystery and mystery to them.
- Do not set a bad example. In the presence of children, one sometimes has to restrain one’s emotions: somewhere not to use foul language, somewhere not to shout at the spouse/spouse, somewhere – not to punch the table and not throw the phone at the wall. The child sensitively copies all the behaviors that you demonstrate. And if you show him that you can express your anger and anger by breaking things – then he will break toys every time he experiences negative emotions.
- Take into account the interests and level of development of the child. Toys should be interesting for him, and the game with them should be feasible for him. Do not buy two-year-old child intricate kits for young geniuses – buy for him a simple designer, cubes, dough or modeling clay, finger paints. No need to give a girl who is indifferent to dolls, gorgeous Barbie – buy her dinosaurs, cars, children’s musical instruments, or anything else that she really likes.
- Do not buy cheap toys, or be prepared to break them. In principle, when a child is in the stage of the very active study of the surrounding reality, it is quite possible to acquire toys for him “at one time”, which will absolutely not be a pity. But then do not blame the baby when he breaks toys. And if you want them to last longer, then give preference to higher-quality products made of durable materials. And they do not have to be very complex – children’s imagination can help to see a magic wand in a simple bitch.
- Give your child the opportunity to show strength without consequences. For example, build a sandcastle and break it. Make a snowman and drill it. Collect a bunch of autumn leaves and swipe into it with a swing. At home, it can be crafts made of clay, which will also suffer the fate of destruction. If your child likes to check all sorts of different strength, it makes no sense to wean him out of it. It is better to direct its destructive energy to the direction where it will not bring significant damage.
And finally, we note that buying toys is always necessary for the child, and not for himself. Of course, you can make such purchases for yourself, but then you don’t need to give them to the baby. Fragile, beautiful, collectible things you might like, but they are absolutely non-functional as children’s toys. Is that already at an older age, when the child can also enjoy solely the aesthetic appeal of some things?